If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
