I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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