You're completely useless in the revolution.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
