D3 body, D1 cock
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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