There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
