So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
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He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
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I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
how does that bad decision feel?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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