His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?