So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait