She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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