You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
