Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
