Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
