He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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