I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
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