Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
