No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
