I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize