How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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