Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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