thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize