He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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