Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
