a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
