Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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