We're like a lot better than the average bears
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
