need another drink. this is the easiest way
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
