I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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