I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
