It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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