If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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