I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
