perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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