addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
