Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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