Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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