69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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