So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
