Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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