Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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