Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
