i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
