Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
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I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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