quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize