you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
