The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
