I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize