i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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