the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
