wat bout pragnant strippers??
high people should be assigned attendants
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
