So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
