i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
