Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
