she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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