Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize