its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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