and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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