is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
