I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize